She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
