the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
