Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just had sex bonerless
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
