i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
