not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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