maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize