We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
