They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
