Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
