What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
