At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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