i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
