my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
