Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
