How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
