He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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