you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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