69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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