Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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