Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize