Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
