well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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