She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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