Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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