Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
