those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
