so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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