check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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