my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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