We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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