its not stalking. its research.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
