Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
