My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
