I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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