she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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