so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
