the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
