I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
