He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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