Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
