awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
