that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
