Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
