yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
