just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
