if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
