actually, I'm a sock model
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
