The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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