do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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