I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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