guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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