I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize