I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
