He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
