I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
