just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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