Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
