Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
