just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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