Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
