Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
