I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize