Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
