Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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